The Appeal of "Bad Boy" Types
If you are drawn to those who are mysterious, secretive, and otherwise leave you guessing what they truly feel, you are basing your relationship choices primarily on physical attraction. Allowing your emotions to lead your crucial decisions, such as who to allow in your inner circle and your heart does not lead to lasting and fulfilling love.
Have you had a similar relationship experience such as the one below?
Amanda Asks Nancy:
I am with a man who treats me and my kids great. He is kind, caring and very generous. I trust him. However, I have been in a couple of bad relationships. For some reason, I'm drawn to "bad" boys. I'm not sure if I really love this man because there is no "spark." None! Should I stay with someone who is a really great person and treats me well - but there is no passion - and learn to live with it, or do I end the relationships?
Nancy's Advice to Amanda:
The relationship pattern you have developed dictates that love is equated to instability. Right now, you feel more comfortable in a relationship which provides a sense of not knowing from day to day where you stand in love. If your home life was filled with drama and instability, you will gravitate towards men who bring that element to the relationship.
Even though one may know it is not an emotionally healthy environment, it is what feels familiar. The relationship with this man seems lacking in passion because he represents the opposite of what you know and the qualities and characteristics he brings to your life offer balance and stability. Intellectually, you know this should be what you want, but you heart is fighting against it.
I strongly believe that God brings people who represent what can be in love as a gift and opportunity to work through the those barriers which prevent you from accepting and receiving his love fully. If you end the relationship, you will more than likely repeat your relationship pattern and experience another heartbreak.
I encourage you to take this opportunity to look at the mindsets and negative beliefs you have accumulated over the years regarding love and how you view yourself. You do have the capability to experience the love God wants you to embrace with His help.
The key will be to look at the emotional triggers which set you off and work towards the source of why you become defensive in certain situations. Revealing the dark places in your heart and the accompanying hurt will take the power away from that pain and its oppression over your life.
To attract your Right Relationship, order my Relationship Preparation Package or schedule your one-on-one Coaching Session with me today!
When do you know he is a keeper?
Do you think there is a set time frame in order to "know" if the person you are dating is the one? I share why it is so important to work through any barriers to love so you can develop that understanding and hear direction and guidance from God. Many times singles mistake instant intimacy for love. Just because you share a great deal of personal information with someone new, that does not mean trust has been developed and true love is forthcoming.