Do I Support Her Whole Family?

Many materially successful people I have coached throughout the years have a fear that those they love will only want them for the type of life their money can provide. It is important to work through this spiritual battle as the source of all things is God, not one’s job or current finances. Stinginess is not the answer, as we are to freely give in love. However, that money is not to be the foundation of one’s life and security.

Alex Asks Nancy:

“I’m engaged to the love of my life, but she is attached to the hip to her mother and family. She has always put her family before me. She sometimes brings her cousins and mom to visit and expects me to always pay. I’ve brought it to her attention, but says I make four times as much as they do. She comes from a family who was well off but now are struggling. I feel she expects me to provide her and her mother and 8 year boy with the lifestyle they once knew, but I just can’t. I have expenses as well and pay child support. I have refused to do this anymore and now she is contemplating ending our relationship. What should I do?”

Nancy’s Advice:

Your fiance has made it very clear what she expects from you financially in the future. As you have experienced, this is a deal breaker for her. I would not recommend you marrying such a person who places this condition on her love. It gives the impression that she is looking for someone to provide her and her extended family with a particular lifestyle that is beyond your means. You deserve a spouse who loves who you are first, not what you can provide. This is a very shaky foundation to build a marriage on. I would recommend that you do break off the engagement so you can find a woman who will be grateful for the love and support you bring to a relationship.

About Nancy Pina

Nancy Pina is a relationship expert, author and coach with a passion to show how every individual can achieve relationship success. Her message of emotional healing based on Christian values has blessed countless individuals. Nancy has been featured in numerous national magazines including: Runner’s World, Esquire, Men’s Health, Cosmopolitan and Essence. She is a frequent guest on television and radio shows and has appeared on The Today Show, Fox News and Daystar Houston.
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