Marriage is a decision which should not be taken lightly. Many people fall in love with the idea of a wedding, but have not given any true thought to marriage and the commitment it takes to make that union work. Marriage is a covenant between a man and woman which is meant to last their lifetime. There are no starter marriages in the eyes of the Lord!
Brenda Asks Nancy:
“I have been with my boyfriend for over five years and we just recently got engaged. There is another guy I am interested in and the other guy is not at all what I will usually go for. He has a wife and a one year old child back in his country. He tells me he is having problems with her and I feel like I might not be ready to wed yet because I have kissed this guy more than once since my engagement.
I feel like I am stuck. I can’t stop thinking of this guy and when I see my fiance I think of this guy. I don’t know what to do.”
You are definitely not ready for a committed relationship nor marriage. My advice is to break off the engagement and break off seeing this married man. He is absolutely not available to you for any type of relationship and if you persist, it will only lead to much heartbreak and pain. Nothing good will come from pursing a married man, regardless of what he tells you of the status of his marriage.
The best plan at this stage is to work through the particular barriers to love you possess, starting with why you are attracted to those who are not available for love. You are sabotaging good relationships because something emotionally healthy is not comfortable to you.
Until you work through these negative core beliefs, you will repeat this pattern in love. The good news is that you can attract the right person when you are proactive in your healing.