The core issue which needs to be healed is hidden in the layers of intimate relationships. The danger is getting so caught up in the details of what the other person did or did not do, that the primary mindset is overlooked.
Teresa Asks Nancy:
“My fiancee and I have been together three years. I’m divorced because of domestic violence and have been through many traumatic experiences. My fiancee comes from a marriage where he was cheated on. After the birth of our child, I found out he had been looking at personal ads on the internet. I forgave him since he admitted it’s an addiction and he told me I could go through his email and phone whenever I wanted.
He keeps responding to ads and even sending pictures and saying he is married. It just hurts so much. My fiancee says he failed me and doesn’t deserve me. He says he has never met anyone in the ads, but he keeps hiding and erasing the emails. I truly love this man and he is loving and caring…just great in every other aspect.
What do I do?”
This is a spiritual battle you are facing individually and as a couple. The only person you can change is yourself and that is exactly where you need to begin. It is important not only for your sake, but for the well being of your daughter and her emotional stability.
You need to get to a place of healing from the trauma you experienced throughout your life. The core is your lack of trust and until you work through the real reason why you do not trust those who love you, relationships will become places where you experience circumstances leading to mistrust.
It is vital to include in your healing development of your spiritual life. If you do not start working towards a personal relationship with Jesus, you will not be able to learn how to trust others. The psychological side of the equation is important because is helps the mind comprehend the why behind your mindsets, faith is important because is leads to true, lasting healing and restoration.
I also encourage you both to seek a good Christian counselor to work with together so you can acquire the necessary tools for open and positive communication.