When a relationship does not work out, many times couples want to stay in contact because it is familiar territory. The unknown, even though it is full of positive possibilities can seem less inviting than the past with its problems and issues. Accepting the status of “friends with benefits” is anything but beneficial physically, emotionally and spiritually.
Melody Asks Nancy:
I dated my first love for several years but the relationship did not work out. He has now started to contact me, proposing that we become “friends with benefits.” I am strong and turn him down until I see him in person, then I just give in. I want to stay friends because he’s important to me, but anything more is too difficult for me. How do I say no and stick to my convictions?
Many people fall into this trap of friends with benefits, thinking one can have an intimate relationship without being vulnerable. That is a huge lie. More often than not, one person will want to get back together as a real couple and the other person is just along for the ride until someone else “better” in their mind appears.
I strongly advise that you stop all contact with this guy and give yourself the chance to meet a man who will treat you with the love and honor you deserve. It is vital that you set the standard for your relationships and expect to be treated accordingly. If you continue this contact, you will only prolong the time it takes for you to meet the right person. This guy does not have your best interests at heart and is only out to use you physically, which will hurt you terribly emotionally and spiritually.