Marriage is a covenant and gift from the Lord. People do not “fall” out of love; they choose behaviors towards each other which allows for the disintegration of its foundation. The good news is that it only takes one person in the relationship to turn it around and rebuild what has been hidden under the layers of bitterness, anger and apathy.
Morgan Asks Nancy:
I have been married 25 years and our children are now grown and on their own now. I am healthy, but find I have absolutely no interest in my spouse. Habits of his that I overlooked drive me up the wall. I don’t want to become physically intimate with him again. I have chosen to stay in this marriage so my children and future grandchildren won’t have to split time visiting. After so many years, staying is just easier and do not want counseling.
I do not believe you are happy with this status quo, otherwise you would not have written. The big issue is why you do not respect your husband as head of your household. Yes, there is plenty blame to go around, but I know it does take one person to make a change for the better so the vision of a right marriage can come to fruition. This is not about what is fair, it is about what is right in the eyes of the Lord. These are really difficult issues to face personally; attitudes and beliefs which do not line up with the word of God.
God uses all hardships and trials as a means to draw each person closer to Him and to His word. Digging deeper into what He says and not relying on your emotions to dictate your treatment of your husband, you will find your feelings towards him will change. This is a cycle: if you do not treat your spouse with respect, he in turn will react negatively and not give you what you want which is love, kindness and security.
When the basics are not present, the foundation of friendship cannot grow and physically intimacy is not desired. Marriage is a gift from God, a sacred union which He alone can restore and make new again. It is never too late to start again when you trust in the Lord and lean on His understanding and wisdom.