Our Friendship Changed

Friendships do evolve depending on our life stages. It is important to be open to change and keep a proper perspective. There are friendships which last for lifetimes and those that are only for a season. It is the wise person who can evaluate which category to place those friendships and not to take that evolution personally. If God has shut the door to that bond, just as He can do in love, it is important to be obedient to His instruction and refrain from kicking the door back in that he has closed.

Gail Asks Nancy:

“My good friend is very frustrated about balancing her time between friends, family, relationship, and child. She seems to be angry at me when I want to spend quality time with her. I feel as if I am giving this relationship 100%. I’m trying to be understanding and supportive, but she seems to take me for granted. I am backing off and giving her space and I’m taking this time to reevaluate. I feel like she is seeing me as the enemy and just another person wanting her time. Am I wasting my time by remaining in the friendship? It’s beginning to feel one sided.”

Nancy’s Advice:

It is good that you are taking a step back and looking at the larger picture of what is happening in your friendship. From what you have written, she does appear to be overextended, and it does take time to find the right balance. It is definitely important to have healthy boundaries in place in any type of relationship so that neither person feels taken for granted. Since you have reached that point, it would be good for you to give her some space and allow her to make the next move to spend time together. I believe you can be supportive through occasional emails and let her know you have her in your thoughts and prayers. Sometimes when you are in a different life stage, the friendship does change because circumstances have changed. There is nothing wrong with sitting down at some point and coming up with a new definition of your friendship; one where she does not feel so guilty about taking away her time from family and you do not feel taken for granted. In all relationships, it is important to give to the other person not what you need in a friendship, but what they need and vice versa.

About Nancy Pina

Nancy Pina is a relationship expert, author and coach with a passion to show how every individual can achieve relationship success. Her message of emotional healing based on Christian values has blessed countless individuals. Nancy has been featured in numerous national magazines including: Runner’s World, Esquire, Men’s Health, Cosmopolitan and Essence. She is a frequent guest on television and radio shows and has appeared on The Today Show, Fox News and Daystar Houston.
This entry was posted in Advice. Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>