Is It Just Friendship?

It is vital that one guards the heart in relationship matters. It is very important to be mindful of who you allow in your inner circle and have set, appropriate boundaries for those you interact with professionally. It should not be the same type of intimacy as one shares with a spouse.

Sean Asks Nancy:

I have been happily married for two years and recently met a very young lady who I am tutoring in physics.

She added me as a friend on Facebook and started to talk to me. We enjoy each others company as platonic friends. This has affected my relationship with wife in a positive way as I became more affectionate and treat her better. What’s bothering me is the dependency I have developed towards talking to this person. Sometimes I find myself thinking about her during the day and how much we laugh. I find her in my dreams at times. She never features the dream she just appears. I am afraid I am beginning to be obsessed. I find myself being moody; something that never happened before. Do you think I have a problem?

Nancy’s Advice:

Yes, this is a problem because you are forming an emotional connection with a woman who is not your spouse. Even though you regard each other as friends, it has opened a door that can lead to a stronger attraction. Even though you believe this friendship has prompted you to treat your spouse better, I assure you that this relationship is becoming an idol in your life. You are making this woman and your connection to her very important, to the point that your mood is negatively affected. I strongly advise that you stop tutoring her and take yourself off as her Facebook friend. The relationship is inappropriate because you are married (and not available) and she is single. Wisdom dictates to stay away from temptations. Even though your intentions are noble in helping with her studies, you have moved over the line of professionalism.

About Nancy Pina

Nancy Pina is a relationship expert, author and coach with a passion to show how every individual can achieve relationship success. Her message of emotional healing based on Christian values has blessed countless individuals. Nancy has been featured in numerous national magazines including: Runner’s World, Esquire, Men’s Health, Cosmopolitan and Essence. She is a frequent guest on television and radio shows and has appeared on The Today Show, Fox News and Daystar Houston.
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