Keeping silent in a relationship about the manner in which you want to receive love does not work. It is important to overcome any fear of rocking the boat in love and approach such matters not defensively, but with tenderness and love. Learning how to express yourself clearly will lead to a strong emotional connection.
Cody Asks Nancy:
“My girlfriend and I get along great and we have a lot in common. We have been together for a year and I am madly in love with her. The problem I have is that she’s a little too much tomboy. Sometimes I’d like it if she would call me names of endearment. I’d like it if she told me that she appreciates me instead of just expecting me to already know that. What do I do to encourage the feminine side of her?”
This is an important lesson your girlfriend should learn about treating you with the love and respect you deserve. When either person is taken for granted, tension does build and at some point will come out. Instead of wishing she would do these things for you, I encourage you to have a heart to heart conversation and express your feelings. All of us desire to receive love in a particular way and the best manner to communicate this is simply to tell her. Thinking that the other person will automatically know because their is a shared love is asking for hurt feelings. This is not unromantic and will bring the emotional intimacy of your relationship higher. I suggest that you share this information in a loving manner, telling her how good it makes you feel when she tells you how much she appreciates the things you do for your relationship. Ask her if she would be open to calling you a particular name of endearment because it makes you feel special and extra connected. I also would ask her what makes her feel loved and how you can express that to her. In many relationships, what you give in love will be returned to you.