Closing Wrong Doors in Love

Marriage and committed relationships require mutual nurturance. Without attention, they do suffer and the relationship changes and stops growing. When emotional needs are not being met and the demands of daily family life wear you down, the answer is never outside the relationship.

Toni writes:

I got attracted to a guy (I am married and have kids). It was just physical attraction but it has led to great emotional dependency.  Seeing him gave me a high and I knew it happened to him too. I realized that it was going too far and apologized to him (though he did not admit to it) and then confessed to my husband, promising never to think about this guy.  I try to be loyal to my husband but my thoughts do go to that guy once in a while.  He is a guy at my kid’s school and so I try to avoid him as much as I can…I need help to forget him and work on my marriage.

Nancy’s Advice:

The key will be to discover why you do not feel emotionally validated in your marriage. What is it that you need from your husband that will make you feel emotionally connected to him? These are the types of questions I encourage you to explore within and then share those with your husband. Sometimes it’s difficult to get to the root of why you felt drawn away from your marriage, so I also suggest working with a Christian counselor.

I know it is difficult to break the mental image of what you wanted to idealize in love, however, it is important that you are very proactive in stopping those thoughts whenever they come to the surface. You do have charge over your thoughts and can lead your life based on what you know to be right instead of being led by the ups and downs and unpredictability of your emotions and feelings.

Avoiding this man is a very good strategy as it will give you the time to strengthen your commitment to work on your relationship with your husband. Please use this opportunity to appreciate the wonderful gift of a good husband and remember all the reasons why you first fell in love with him.

About Nancy Pina

Nancy Pina is a relationship expert, author and coach with a passion to show how every individual can achieve relationship success. Her message of emotional healing based on Christian values has blessed countless individuals. Nancy has been featured in numerous national magazines including: Runner’s World, Esquire, Men’s Health, Cosmopolitan and Essence. She is a frequent guest on television and radio shows and has appeared on The Today Show, Fox News and Daystar Houston.
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One Response to Closing Wrong Doors in Love

  1. Colleen says:

    Dear Nancy,
    I will try to make this long long awful experience as short as possible. IT ‘a been 5 years as of June 25. It was. It was love at first sight 4 me so I knew I was in trouble. I met her through a partner of mine who is a MU artist to stars. I saw her pic & INQUIRED ABOUT HER. My Friend/partner said she thought she likes girls as well. So she contacted her and LS called me with- in a day . We talked 4 hours and had set up a time I could get away to meet her. She had me at Colleen. So beautiful, So Intellgent as well. However a true Pieces like my bio mom I’m a Leo as well as my Daughter. It was great for the first 6 months. The she started asking me for money. I owned & Managed retirement homes. urgent care facilities. My passion I worked at one since I was 14. Then started running the largest CCRC IN SCOTTSDALE WHEN I WAS 24. I WAS VERY SUCCESSFUL & PROUD. LS Mom was in a nursing home in Las Vegas so I help her with all I could. I did not mind helping her with money ( it was better than her going back to being a call girt) My friends would find her sites still up but she had promised she stopped 10 years ago. I wanted 2 trust her so bad. I had my feeling that she was still seeing some costumer that were older from years ago. I told her I would marry her if she was TRUELY in love With me as I was with her. She needed some more time. So we went on like this & I tried 2,get out there as much as I could but I was really busy with my work. My friends that were a little too into my business but only because they were protective, said she should be out here in AZ more visiting me. She was not working. I was giving her large sums of money I noticed her being very sexual about a week before the money but after she knew she had it she would disappear she was abusive on the phone. This cycle continued everything that went down was somehow twisted to be my fault. Well she came to visit & we decided we really did need to spend more time together. My partner happen 2 have a buyer for the Phoenix portfolio. THIS WAS THE HARDEST CHOOICE I WOULD EVER IN MY LIFE HAD TO MAKE I WORKED WITH MY STAFF FOR 26 – 10 years.. I was adopted they became my family. Well she said she just needed more time with me. So I sold and two days after I signed the sales agreement she told me she cheated on me and she did not have the same feeling for me as I did for her.. I was to say the least devastated ready to just put & end to it all. My Daugher saved me. However it’s been two years I’m still very depressed I hardly get out of bed and now I want to start but some atrophy set in so it makes I very hard . Is there something I can so to mend this broken heart that seems unbearable at times not just the broken heart but the fool I was.. She played me as a huge fool. Sometimes I want to sue her but if u could imagine I still love her .. So sad.. Please help if you can.
    SINCERELY,
    CSWEET

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